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In this couple of days i`ve been doing a lot of thinking. by doing that, now i`m confused. too much thinking :)

GOD has been nothing but gracious to me, not only live and breath but HE got me through days.
last week, we had ustadz -- a spiritual speaker , and because it`s almost ramadhan so the topics was around that.

one of what he said was" what has GOD given to you? , HE gave you the world and its perks, and you have 30 days full to be more closer to HIM 1 month in 11 months HE gave the world. it hits me, i have been living with world materials so many years. have a job, good salary, good benefit. but those not only my hardwork , i believe GOD lead to these lavish life.

as i`m pregnant now, having a good job, salary, good benefit seems not enough and those scary mind thinking am i good enough for my kid? if i quit my job, will my husband can support me and our kid?

on the contrary, i hit the stage where i no longer enjoying work. but the compile of bills seems burden every time.

seems i need to rest from the"world" and be in touch of my spirit ...
they say it will be a boring ride, but many people survive the boredom. is it because of the time?
or is it we become more conscious of what we need.

The "World" is packed with enormous feeling of wishes.

I wish i had done this...
i wish i didn`t do this
i wish more of this...

all those wishes seems like river flows where leads to ocean. never ending.





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